Anonymous asked:
Celebrity!Kate and Bodyguard!Yelena after the ten years when they're happy. Please, Papi. We've had enough angst the last few days.
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#ewatson #celebsMore you might like
If you really want to know more about what our lives our like as professional television and film writers, why we’re striking, and why this myth that being a writer is easy, glamorous, and profitable is the biggest fucking lie then read this:
This is our reality. We spend YEARS working for free only to eventually be paid pennies and subsequently disrespected by suits who only see us as monkeys who press keys on a computer.
And this is just the process for features. For a film you have to figure out ONE story. I’ve never gone out to pitch a show that I didn’t have 3-4 full seasons broken down because no one will buy a show if they don’t know where it’s going. They typically also require the pilot to be written which is six months to a year of work in itself. So to sell a show you normally need to have a written first episode, every single character arc figured out for the first season, and then multiple subsequent seasons.
If you’re lucky enough, at some point you finally sell your baby…this thing you’ve spent years on, and six months later you’re on food stamps because the check you got was miserable and the buyer decided to shelve the show because they didn’t like it anymore. But, plot twist, now they own it because they paid you money for it and you signed it away so you can’t do anything else with it since it’s theirs. Now it’s fated to sit in some metaphorical vault forever. You just wasted three years of your life and have nothing to show for it. Now your best hope for another check is to sell one of the other fifty things you’ve been developing for free for years, but you’re broke and while you wait to see if that happens, you - a writer with probably years of experiences under their belt - has to start driving Uber to be able to afford basic necessities. All this while the last show you worked on as part of the writing team in the writer’s room is making some streamer millions and winning them awards that the CEOs who didn’t do an ounce of work then get bonuses on.
THIS is the reality of being a film and TV writer. And THIS is why we’re striking.
its missing idiot kate and her grumpy wife hours in this house how do i plug an ai into my brain so it can type what im thinking instead of me having to do it because i neeeeeeeed new content for these idiots and im the only one i trust to do it lol
Also, keep this in mind when you inevitably start seeing all the anti-strike propaganda articles that will be coming out tomorrow and for the duration of our strike.
David Zaslav’s entire salary is more than the equivalent our union is asking for in raises for ALL us writers. ONE MAN at ONE COMPANY who has made all the worst business decisions possible. But they’re telling us they can’t afford to pay us more. Funny.
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Kate giving birth in kybgau and Yelena being her usual neurotic self?
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Okay but papi 🥺🥺🥺 remember the very first post introducing us to this wonderful thing called the kybgau? You said there was a lot of material like and I quote: “RED CARPETS WITH YELENA?! A comedy. YELENA IN A ROOM FULL OF DUMB ACTORS DRUNK AT AN AFTERPARTY?!” and “But also the albums Kate writes about her and the corny acceptance speeches thanking her???” Can we—can we have that now? Please? Papi? 🥺
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kybgau - pain idea: Kate really struggles with the concept that Yelena would rather be anywhere but in the spotlight. Countless red carpets; parties; charity events; and Kate wants a little Russian on her arm for all of them and she has a hard time taking no for an answer or understanding that Yelena is uncomfortable with being in front of cameras all the time.
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Okay, this is like a mega prompt combo. Here’s 7.3k of fluff…
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“Just tell me what you want.” Yelena hastily stuffs her keys, wallet, and phone into the pockets of her form-fitting joggers. She’s ready to head out the door.
“I could use the ride. And seeing people.”
Yelena scans the dresser, ensuring she hasn’t forgotten anything, before turning and making her way to where Kate stands. Kate - dressed in casual maternity sweatpants and a hoodie, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and her face free of makeup - rests her hands on either side of her swollen, thirty-nine-week pregnant belly as she gazes at Yelena. With the baby due any moment, Kate looks like she’s about to burst.
“We’re going to the show tonight. You’ll get a ride there and back. And plenty of people. You should rest now.”
Kate’s smile grows with every word.
“So I’m only allowed out of the house once a day? Like a puppy you take on a walk?”
“Exactly. One big, reckless, loud puppy. Well…two puppies.” Yelena glances down at Kate’s stomach and Kate beams in response.
“I want to come.” Kate insists, almost whiney.
“It’s so much simpler if I go. I can do it alone. If you come, I have to get a pair of guys for a follow car and…”
“We’re going to get coffee. We don’t need two guys in a follow car.” Kate interrupts.
“They’re there in case anything happens.” Yelena retorts, serious.
“We’re going a mile down the road…to a coffee shop. What would happen?”
“It’s my job to make sure nothing does.”
“Are you going to be this neurotic until the baby falls out of me?”
“If the baby is falling out of you, I can guarantee I’ll be even more ‘neurotic’ because that doesn’t sound like it should happen.”
Anonymous asked:
So what's the KYMAU reunion like when Yelena gets back from Russia? The first time Yelena sees Ri again? Awkward or easier than thought?
Can I just say…no one does drama or angst or heartache like you and I just love you for it. The suffering is real. How do Kate and Yelena ever find their way back to one another? Poor Ri, getting abandoned like that 😭 Yelena just peaced out without telling them. K&Y’s little email exchange breaks my heart.
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Love how toms whole argument each time has been “we fucked”. Also laughing at the idea of Kate and Tom sleeping together quite regularly and her dropping his petty ass as soon as yelena comes back into the picture. How does it go down when he realizes she’s in New York again?
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You do know how to bring the drama! I love it! So does Tom think he’s got a proper shot again now that yelena is out of the picture (for now…) what’s his reaction to when she comes back?!
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This is another prompt mega-combo. Here’s 7k of Yelena coming back from Russia and how that all goes down.
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Yelena sits by the small oval window, her eyes fixed on the vast expanse of clouds stretching out across the horizon. Her mind is a whirlwind of thoughts as she reflects on the recent events that have upended her life. The people she met and the progress they made together to bring positive change to Russia and beyond fill her brain. Under Yelena’s steadfast guidance, the legal department at EcoShield Russia evolved into an unstoppable force and their victories were becoming too prominent to ignore. They were suddenly at the forefront of successful Russian environmental advocacy, championing and winning battles for causes like protecting landowners’ rights to grow forests on lands listed as agricultural. This once-illegal act, previously met with hefty fines and land seizures, was now allowed thanks to Yelena’s work. It had been an arduous battle, but her unyielding determination led them to triumph. Yelena repeatedly took the government to court and unexpectedly began amassing rare victories for environmentalism. However, her success came at a steep price.
Mere days after her last win, the authorities labeled Yelena a “foreign agent,” accusing her of engaging in “subversive activities” aimed at “harming Russia.” False charges of espionage loomed ominously over her, and the government sought to swiftly apprehend her. Thankfully, an ally within the police force alerted her organization, giving them precious time to arrange her escape. In a daring operation, they whisked Yelena away to the Russian-Finnish border, where she crossed over to safety, narrowly evading capture. It was a close call. That single phone call spared her from execution or, at the very least, many grueling years of imprisonment at a hard labor camp.
KATE x YELENA AUs: SINGLE MOM (2/?)
Happy Mother’s Day! Made some visuals for the MAU. Yesterday I got somewhat lazy with the AI work on the kids for the FBAU, but a friend told me today that MAU is their favorite out of all my ongoing Kate/Yelena AUs, so figured I’d bring out the big guns and actually put effort into it. Since we jump around in time every chapter, I gave you the kids at different ages that way you at least have a general reference no matter where we go.
The very first background image and all the images used for the kids are 100% AI generated by me. Just so there’s no confusion. They’re not perfect, but they’re pretty damn close to how I see them in my head.
[NOTE: Click on the images to see the full res versions. Tumblr makes them look shitty and small if you don’t.]
dickinson is already perfect, but imagine how much better it could’ve been had the writers and showrunner not been treated like absolute garbage the entire time. for weeks leading up to this strike alena has been super vocal about how much of a nightmare dickinson was behind the scenes. this just goes to prove that us writers will make magic even when they put us against the ropes.
this is why we’re striking. this is why we’re fighting.
KATE x YELENA AUs: FRAT BOY (1/?)
The FBAU visuals are hereeeeee.
I’ve mentioned in the story/in our conversations quite a few times that Derek basically spit out clones of himself when it came to Kate and her siblings and thanks to AI…I could just…do it??? It’s a whole thing that they all look alike. Now you can see what I see in my head :)
The three kids are AI combinations of Kate & Yelena. Well, except for Maks. Maks kept the Bishop Gene Juice™️ cloning power alive and well.
Will I do this for all eleven (so far 😮💨) of the AUs we’ve got going on right now? I can’t promise that I will. But I at least started a tag for visuals so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that it could happen at some point. We’ll see.
[NOTE: Click on the images to see the full res versions. Tumblr makes them look shitty and small if you don’t.]
Anonymous asked:
I say this with love...hotshot judge/lawyer and dumbass criminal AU *big eyed pleading cat cartoon gif that I can't insert but you know the one*. I loved the idea of that one. Don't tell me it died on the vine. (I will understand, you have SO MANY! You're a one-woman AU generator to put AO3 to shame!)
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I’m curious about the public defender au. How did they meet? What was their first impression?
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I propose a rule that you stop mentioning amazing AUs if you’re not going to even feed us crumbs about them. Love frat boy, mom, celeb, etc but you got me hooked on Public Defender!Kate and Mafia!Yelena and ahve never mentioned it again.
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Don’t ever tell me I don’t give the people what they want. Here’s 1.5k of the billionth Kate/Yelena AU I’ve been bamboozled into starting. Officially introducing…PDAU.
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Yelena sits in the cold courthouse holding cell, surrounded by bare walls painted in a lifeless grey. There’s no place to lie down and no comfortable spot to rest, just a desk and a few chairs bolted to the ground. A small window, high up near the ceiling, lets in a sliver of daylight. The fluorescents flicker overhead, casting an unflattering glow on Yelena’s face and highlighting the bags under her eyes. The orange jumpsuit she’s now wearing for the first time in her life only heightens the bleak atmosphere. The stench of stale sweat and urine assaults her nostrils while she shifts on the hard metal seat, trying to find an enjoyable position. The edges of the chair dig into her skin and the clinking of her ankle cuffs each time she fidgets has started to grate on her nerves.
“Сука.” [Bitch.]
Yelena glares at the cuffs trapping her hands and mutters a string of curses in Russian under her breath.
The sound of the creaking door unlocking interrupts Yelena’s outburst. An impeccably dressed young woman strides in and her frazzled appearance hints at the weight of her responsibilities. Her crisp suit accentuates her professional demeanor, and her hair is pulled into a neat bun. The pounding of her distinctly expensive high heels against the concrete floor echoes through the room. The woman sits down across from Yelena, carrying a bulky file in her hands. The blonde leans back, a sardonic smirk playing on her lips as she sizes the brunette up.
“Good morning, Miss Belova. My name is Katherine Bishop and I’m the court-appointed public defender assigned to your case. Let’s see what we’re working with.”
Kate opens the file and begins flipping through the pages. Her eyes widen in disbelief as she reads through Yelena’s rap sheet.
“You’re a real one-woman crime wave…Assault in the Third Degree, Grand Larceny in the Second Degree, Resisting Arrest, Disorderly Conduct in the Second Degree, Petty Larceny, Criminal Possession of a Weapon in the Third Degree, Criminal Possession of Stolen Property in the Third Degree, Criminal Mischief in the Second Degree, Grand Larceny in the Third Degree, Assault in the Fourth Degree, Criminal Mischief in the Third Degree, Criminal Possession of a Controlled Substance in the Third Degree, Grand Theft, Criminal Sale of a Controlled Substance in the Third Degree, Criminal Trespass in the Third Degree, Unauthorized Use of a Vehicle in the Third Degree, Burglary in the Third Degree, Criminal Trespass in the Second Degree…” Kate stops herself from reading through the entire record and looks up at Yelena. “…Impressive list. How do you have time for anything else?” Kate asks, shocked.
“You left out jaywalking and littering. Those are important.”
Anonymous asked:
I'm totally in support of the writers in theory but I'm trying to understand more of what you're fighting for because I've seen some people on twitter claim writers make more money a week than most of us make in a month so I'm trying to understand what the issue is. Also if that info is accurate. This is a genuine question. Not trying to have a "gotcha moment". I really want to hear from a writer.
fratboykate answered:
people have always had wild misconceptions about how much a writer earns because of their lack of understanding of how the industry actually works. there’s so many posts about how “you guys make 5k a week. what more do you want?!” yeah…let’s do some math on that.
5k a week for 14 weeks (and that’s a long room. a lot of rooms these days are 8-10 weeks. those are the dreaded mini-rooms we’re trying to kill) is $70,000. for roughly three months of work. you’d think we’re cooking with gas…BUT HOLD UP. that’s gross! let’s see everything that has to come out of that check:
- 10% to our agent
- 10% to our manager
- 5% to our entertainment attorney
- 5% to our business manager (not everyone has one but a lot of us do. i do, so that’s literally 30% immediately off the top of every check)
- most of these breakdowns ive seen downplay taxes severely. someone made one that says writers pay 5% in taxes and i would like to ask them “in what universe?”. that doesn’t even cover state taxes. the way taxes work in the industry is really complicated, but the short of it is most of us have companies for tax reasons so we aren’t taxed like people on w2s/1099. if we did we’d be even more fucked. basically every production hires a writer’s company instead of the writer as an individual. so they engage our companies for our services and then at the end of the year we (the company) pay taxes as corporations or llcs (depending on what the writer chose to go with). my company is registered as a “corporation” so let’s go with those rates. california’s corporate rate is 9% and the federal corporate tax rate is 21%. there’s other expenses with running a business like fees and other shit so my business managers/accountants/bookkeepers have recommended i save between 35-40% of everything i make for when tax season comes.
you see where the math is at already??? 25-30% in commissions and then 35-40% in taxes. on the lower end you’re at THE VERY LEAST looking at 60% of that check gone. 70% worst case scenario. suddenly those $70,000 people claim we make are actually down to $28,000 as the take home pay. and that’s if you’re only losing 60%. it goes down to $21,000 if it’s 70%.
lets pretend you worked a long 14 week room (that’s the longest room ive ever worked btw) and let’s also be generous and say you only have 60% in expenses so the take home is $28,000. average rent in los angeles is around $2,800-$3,000. if you’re paying $2,800 in rent that means you need AT LEAST $4,000 a month to have a semi decent life since you need to also cover groceries, gas, medical expenses, toiletries, phone, internet, utilities, rental and car insurances, car payments, student loan payments, etc etc etc. and again, this is los angeles. everything is more expensive so you’re living BARE BONES on 4k. and these are numbers as a single person. im not even taking having children into account. so those $28,000 you take home might cover your life for 6-7 months. 3 of which you’re in the room working. the reality is that once that room ends, you might not work in a room again for 6-9-12 months (i have friends whose last jobs were over 18 months ago) and you now only have about 3 months left of savings to hold you over. we have to make that money stretch while we do all the endless free development we do for studios and until we get our next paying job. so…3 months left of enough money to cover your expenses -> possible 9 months of not having a job. this is how writers end up on food stamps or applying to work at target.
this is why we’re fighting for better rates and better residuals. residuals were a thing writers used to rely on to get them through the unemployment periods. residual checks have gone down from 20k to $0.03 cents. im not joking.
they’ve decimated our regular pay and then destroyed residuals. we have nothing left. so don’t believe it when they tell you writers are being greedy. writers are simply fighting to be able to make a middle class living. we’re not asking them to become poor for our sake. we’re asking for raises that amount to 2% of their profit. TWO PERCENT. this is a fight for writing even being a career in five years instead of something you do on the side while you work retail to pay your bills. if you think shows are bad now imagine when your writer has to do it as a hobby because they need a real job to pay their bills and support a family. (which none of us can currently afford to have btw)
support writers. stop being bootlickers for billion dollar corporations. stop caring about fictional people more than you care about the real people that write them. if we don’t win this fight it truly is game over. the industry as you know it is gone.
